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Arranged Marriages Can Also Be Love Marriages

Why has not marriage lost its flavour and shine all these centuries? The answer is that it is a multi-faceted relationship that addresses a primeval human need of bonding with others in an intimate relationship.

Marriage has many dimensions that impact an individual’s life in different ways. It offers you social sanction to establish intimate and physical relations with another person, and demand loyalty in return. Emotionally, the partners support each other by words of encouragement in testing times. Legally, they are bound together by shared rights and obligations. If the marriage has to be terminated, the law has laid down a proper procedure that has to be followed. Though one can enter marriage without permission of anyone, the partners can untie themselves only through a court order by filing for divorce.

There are basically two ways for people to get married in this world. It may be through a formal arrangement entered into by the relatives of the two partners, or by the partners themselves who feel romantically inclined toward each other. Arranged marriages are prevalent in Eastern countries such as India and China, while love marriages are the norm in Western countries such as the UK and the US. The overall trend though worldwide is toward love marriages as arranged marriages have begun to go out of fashion even in the East with the rise of individualism and affluence. Both types of marriages have their own benefits and disadvantages.

Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages have evolved out of traditions going back thousands of years. In this, the partners usually do not know each other. The match is selected by recommendations from friends and relatives, or even by giving matrimonial advertisements in newspapers or in the online world. The parents of both the spouses agree to the match. Asking the concurrence of the would-be partners is considered a mere formality. The views of the former carry more weight than the latter.

The biggest benefit of arranged marriages is that they are not based on raging hormones or temporary impulses. The marriage is a result of cool thinking and collective wisdom of many mature adults. The backgrounds of the two spouses are evenly matched in terms of social status, family, wealth, religion, jobs, education and aspirations from life. Since compatibility in these matters goes a long way in ensuring the success of a relationship, the chances of the marriage lasting many decades and indeed for the rest of the lives of the spouses are increased dramatically. In Eastern countries, where such marriages are the norm, the divorce rate is insignificant.

The biggest danger in arranged marriages is that of the wishes of the partners being overruled and they being forced to marry each other against their will. This is nothing unusual, as dominating and domineering parents try to use their children as pawns in furthering their own social status by getting them married to families of influence or social standing.

Love Marriages

Love marriages respect individualism and the free will of the partners. They rest on the belief that individuals to be married are themselves best qualified to make a decision about the match, and nobody else should have a say in the matter.

In a love marriage, the would-be partners interact with each other in social situations such as at office or in neighbourhood, fall in love and get married. There is no coercion or inducement involved in the relationship. When the partners feel that the marriage has run its course, they split to go their own separate ways. Whether they sink or swim, they have nobody to blame except themselves for the consequences of their decisions.

On the flip side, quite a few people are not mature or cool-headed enough to weigh the suitability of an individual they like for a long-term relationship. Spurred on by infatuation or raging hormones, they rush headlong into a marriage, only to regret it later. Indeed, the divorce rate is at an alarming 50 percent in some countries such as the US where love marriages are prevalent. Getting into unsuitable relationships with a partner who has different tastes, background, education and aspirations than yours drastically increases the chances of the marriage quickly becoming dysfunctional and finally disintegrating.

Divorce affects you in various ways. All family assets are divided by the court between the partners and child custody is assigned to one parent, usually the mother. This creates financial hardship and emotional stress. Love marriages are ideal if you can keep impulsiveness and indiscretion out of your decision to marry.

Article Source: http://www.outleted.com

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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