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The Good and Bad of Divorce

In a divorce, it your responsibility to avoid the negative consequences of marital life and leverage the positive aspects. This can make a real difference to your life post-divorce.

Good Aspects of Divorce

Emotional Peace: In many marriages, the spouses are unable to move along in life. They quarrel over everything and are unable to agree over any issue. All decision-making in the family comes to a halt and there are daily contests between the partners for superiority. As a result, cold vibes and bad blood flow freely in the relationship and the entire domestic atmosphere turns caustic. The children suffer the most. This results in great stress and tension and the family quickly turns dysfunctional. Many people develop psychological problems. But divorce at one stroke frees one from the negative effects of a bad marriage. The moment the partners separate, they begin to recover and heal emotionally.

Personal Freedom: Divorce unties the partners from the martial relationship and dissolves all their responsibilities and obligations toward each other imposed by their marriage. In a marriage, spouses are supposed to take all decisions mutually and always take the other into confidence in all financial and personal matters. All this comes to an end with divorce. The partners regain their personal freedom. They can come home any time they want and go anywhere they feel like. They again experience the casual, free-wheeling lifestyle of bachelorhood, no strings attached, and do not have to explain their actions to anybody.

Financial Freedom: Marriage makes tremendous demands on financial resources. There are bills to be paid and assets have to be bought. The partner who is earning money soon finds that he or she is paying a substantial part of income in meeting expenses of family members. The assets bought are used by everybody. When divorce occurs, all financial obligations of partners toward each other cease. They get to keep all their money to themselves. Their purchasing power goes up and they taste financial freedom that was denied to them earlier. They now manage to spend more and save more.

Beginning of a New Chapter in Life: In a marriage, things are quite predictable and the day-to-day life quickly becomes a boring routine. You are not supposed to stray much from the immediate circle of the family. You have to be loyal to your spouse. Divorce, in contrast, heralds a period of glorious uncertainties. It is the beginning of a new chapter in life. You are free to live life as you see fit and explore new relationships with interesting people. There are endless possibilities and if you are lucky, you can enter a relationship that will last for a long time, perhaps the rest of your life.

Bad Aspects of Divorce

Break-up of the Family: Divorce is the opposite of marriage. If the latter creates the family, divorce simply disintegrates it. It is a sad event because a marriage takes a lot of time as well as emotional and financial investment to be set up. As the spouses file for divorce, all their effort over the years to create a family home comes to naught and goes down the drain. Disintegration of family has a terrible effect on children, who develop feelings of insecurity and abandonment.

Emotional Problems

Divorce is a very painful event that is preceded by much wrangling and bad blood between the partners. Some spouses are taken in by surprise as their partner files for divorce when they had no clue that things were heading that way. Divorce generates a toxic cocktail of negative emotions, such as anger, fear, insecurity, guilt complex, rage, betrayal and desire for revenge. Sometimes, these feelings are severe enough for the ex-partners to seek professional psychiatric help. Many people shy away from marriage for the rest of their lives.

Insecurity about the Future: Divorced people have to abruptly make a transition from a settled married life to a lifestyle full of uncertainties and insecurities. Marital separation is a leap in the dark. You never know whether your life will turn for better or worse after it. Many people are forced to live a life of loneliness for many years as they are unable to find a suitable partner.

Financial Implications: Divorce has serious financial implications for the spouses. If they choose a contested divorce, then the fee of solicitors has to be paid, which can tot up to a substantial sum. On top of that, there is an equal division of all property and financial assets of the partners between them. Many men feel short-changed by the asset division and feel the court has unfairly handed over a large part of their wealth to their ex-wife. On the other hand, many single mothers slip below the poverty line.

Article Source: http://www.outleted.com

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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